In Part 1 of this series, you learned some of benefits that many stay at home moms experience in choosing to stay home with their children. This second part is on the challenges. Being a stay at home mom can be tough. Just ask any stay at home mom and she’ll likely tell you, if being forthright, that along with the challenges that come with having to run a household, usually, full-time, there are feelings of boredom, depression, inadequacy and loneliness that must be overcome to "make it" in this line of "work."
If you need help making your decision on whether to stay at home or not, read this along with Part 1 to be able to put things into perspective. In the end, this is your decision. As you read about the challenges and benefits that many have experienced in being a stay at home mom, think most about what matters most to you and what you want most for your life.
What are the Challenges of Staying Home Full-Time?
Some of the most commonly cited challenges of staying home full-time are:
- Struggling with feelings of isolation, loneliness, boredom, and depression. Many first-time, stay at home moms battle, sometimes, on a regular basis with feelings of isolation, loneliness, and depression. Seemingly removed from the rest of the “functioning” society, many moms struggle to stay connected with their peers and community at-large.
- Making it work on a single income. Moving from two incomes to one, while rewarding in the long run, can prove very challenging at the outset. Gone are the days of seemingly careless spending on a whim. With only a single income, budgets must be carefully scrutinized and belts tightened in order to "stay above water."
- Accepting the loss of an older identity. For women whose identities were tied to their careers, becoming a stay at home mom can be especially tough. Removed from the career that once provided them validation, tangible rewards, and a sense of accomplishment, these women struggle to make sense of their new role as stay at home mom.
- Receiving little to no recognition for a job well done. In the corporate world, you receive performance reviews to track how you are doing and things you need to improve upon. But, life in the stay at home world is without these tracking mechanisms. As a stay at home mom, you may receive an occasional compliment by way of a spouse or friend, but these compliments are often few and far in between.
- Accommodating to changes in one's marriage. Christina Baglivi Tinglof argues that in single income families, the wage-earning spouse feels “an enormous amount of stress of produce and keep the family finances in the black.” While the parent at home may feel “like she’s not earning her own money or contributing to the family kitty.” And, this feeling of "not earning...or contributing enough" can lead moms to devalue their roles as stay at home moms and second guess their "rights" to happiness within their marriages and families.
Working vs. Stay at Home Mom: Are the Challenges Worth It?
As stated in Part 1, when making the decision to stay at home or not, you are the ultimate factor in your decision making process. The above challenges are what many stay at home moms have experienced somewhere along the road, but they are not definitive of what the stay at home mom experience looks like for all women at all times in their journey. What many stay at home moms learn through some time at it is that the key to overcoming many of the above challenges is being creative, staying connected, proactive, and open for the changes.
Sources
Isabelle Fox, PhD. “Being There: The Benefits of a Stay-at-Home Parent.” Hauppauge, NY: Barron’s, 1996.
Darcie Sanders and Martha M. Bullen. “Staying Home: From Full-Time Professional to Full-Time Parent,” New York: Little, Brown, 1993.
Linda Burton, “What’s a Smart Woman Like You Doing at Home?” Vienna, VA: Mothers at Home, 1992.
Faye Davison - Faye Davison is a professional freelance writer based in the Washington, DC metropolitan area.
